Garlic Boy's Examples & Explanations

Daddy-Daughter Date

2011-11-12T12:59:00.001-08:00

Hailey is one of my favorite people, she can really make me laugh.

Conference Sunday

2011-10-02T13:21:00.001-07:00

Conference weekend is a wonderful time for our family. We receive instruction and inspiration from God as we listen to the prophet and apostles. I especially enjoyed Elder Oakes' talk, and not just because he is a former state supreme court justice. He asked what we think of Jesus and what we are doing because of our belief.

Beauty

2011-08-13T18:54:00.001-07:00

You probably already know this, but I'll write it anyway: I have a beautiful wife.

Daddy Daughter Date

2011-08-13T18:49:00.001-07:00

Today, Hailey and I went to a friend's house and played with herds of cats. Then we went to DQ and ran errands. Fun, fun, fun.

Steuben's Lunch Review

2011-07-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Major New Study of Religion Has Much to Say About Mormons

2010-11-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

Major New Study of Religion Has Much to Say About Mormons

Legoman

2010-09-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

Legoman is a song from our upcoming Hula Hoop album.

We went on vacation...

2010-08-10T21:08:00.001-07:00

...and these are the photos Janel took:

Claire's First Day Home

2010-07-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

2010-07-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

Our dear friend Joy moved away this week. Eight of us got together to make this awesome quilt for her. Each of us picked out are own fabric and sewed the pieces together. Once I got everyone's contribution I sewed them together and put the border together. I love the way it turned out. Joy was so surprised when we gave it to her and had a quilting party to tie the quilt. Thanks everyone!

Matthew & Lindsay: The Early Years

2010-07-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

Today from guest bloggers Ethan and Ariana, a running commentary on the video above:

Ethan: Look at those cute babies. They're just like our baby. Except our baby doesn't play with crayons. And they laugh more than our babies do they. (He means don't they.) And our baby is quiet when she swings. And our baby might not like it when we throw blankets on her (he said that with a concerned look on his face). Oh! They like it! Hahaha! I don't think those babies slept lots. Some thinks are the samest and some are different as our baby.

Ariana: I know that I'm not supposed to eat with my fingers.

Ethan: Because you're not a baby. I hope we can go to their home someday. I would really, really like to go to their home someday.

Dudes at a Ranch

2010-07-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

Alien Weirdo

2010-07-04T21:31:00.001-07:00

Frenetic

2010-07-03T10:27:00.001-07:00

TED

2010-06-22T21:48:00.001-07:00

If you haven't seen this site yet, you should check it out.

TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with two annual conferences -- the TED Conference in Long Beach and Palm Springs each spring, and the TEDGlobal conference in Oxford UK each summer -- TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Project and Open TV Project, the inspiring TEDx program and the annual TED Prize.

Hailey's 6th Birthday Party

2010-06-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'm No Sissy

2010-06-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

Rocky Mountain National Park, July 5, 2008

2010-06-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Good Things to Come

2010-06-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

Vacation Photos from Carling/Baird Reunion 2010

2010-06-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

Crayons

2010-05-26T12:21:00.000-07:00

Edible crayons are cool.

Music

2010-05-09T08:58:00.001-07:00

Super Cute

2010-05-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

Miss Piggy Couldn't Have Done Any Better

2010-05-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

Super American Lawyer

2010-04-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

I finished writing Super American Patriot and have moved on the next book in the series, "Super American Lawyer," all about how Uncle Larry, after eradicating terrorism and drug smuggling, takes on his toughest challenge to date, the American legal system. Here's an excerpt:

Chapter 33

A puff of blue smoke rose peacefully past the heavy iron light fixture hanging from the center of Courtroom E. It curled around large glowing round globes and dissipated at the ceiling, an epilogue to the frenzy that preceded it. A terrified mother in her mid-forties sat alone at the witness stand, biting the first knuckle of her clenched fist and sobbing softly to herself.

The judge slouched over the bench with his head down, the handle of his broken gavel still in his right hand, his face obscured from view. He was breathing heavily. A bit of shredded carrot was stuck to the judge's ear.

JELL-O salad was strewn about the courtroom. The gallery was silent. The jury leaned forward, their clothing and faces splattered with pineapple, shredded carrot, and lime green gelatin, mouths now agape--eyes fixed expectantly on the attorney that at that very moment was addressing them.

Several mannequins (now a shade greener and seriously maimed) were strewn about a mock-up of the crime scene directly in front of the jury box. Uncle Larry stood triumphantly where the dining room table had been moments before. His face was blackened and his western-cut suit was in tatters. "And that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury," Uncle Larry boomed, "is how a JELL-O salad...well....do I really have to tell you?! The defense rests!"

The judge suddenly stood, shaking with rage, both arms above his head, his black robes and red face making him appear a banshee ready to descend upon the courtroom. "Case DISMISSED!" he screamed as the gallery erupted in cheers. "Bailiff, take defense counsel into custody, I don't know how he got that past security!" By that time, the noise from the crowd had drowned out the judge and the Bailiff stood stunned as Uncle Larry and his client were carried out on the shoulders of a large group of law students who had come to watch closing arguments.

Buy my book to see what happens next!

Saturday

2010-04-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday. I am at work again. I miss my family.

Easter Sunday

2010-04-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

Mad Libs

2010-03-15T11:42:00.000-07:00

World Progress Report

2010-01-14T19:28:00.000-08:00

Texas

2010-01-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

While discussing the BCS championship with my boss this week, I told him how much we enjoyed living in Texas. But now I wonder, was it really Texas that we loved, or was it our friends and the great times we had together as a family?

Reminds me of one of my favorite songs: In My Life

Me!!

2009-12-12T10:14:00.001-08:00

I'm famous!

Me!!!!

2009-12-12T10:02:00.001-08:00

What could make me post again after all these months?

Why, pictures of me of course. Please help me pick a photograph for my firm's new website. Yeah, I'm okay with the ridicule I'm sure to endure because of this.

My office, #1:

My office, #2:

Small conference room, #3:

Capital background, #4:

Two Giraffes and Two Witches

2009-11-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

Watch out they will put a spell on you.

What a cute bunch. Our tri-ward trunk or treat was moved indoors because of the snow. It was a little crazy but fun.

We had a fun time hanging out with our friends the Vehars during Halloween weekend.

Amanda and Hailey ran door-to-door so it was really hard to take their picture. I hope this one works for my mom. I really loved watching the twins, they were so cute. Matthew and Lindsay tried taking the whole bucket from people a few times. Lindsay did not want to carry a basket at all . She would hold one piece at a time and when she got more she would give the other piece to Matthew. Matthew didn't want to let go of the bucket at all. Even when he was to tired to walk. It amazed me how fast they learned the words candy and thank you.

David and I felt like sheep herders all night. We had a really good time. Thanks for the invite Vehars.

Snow

2009-11-09T12:39:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago it snowed for a few days. David worked from home one day. I had a chance to take the girls out and play in the snow during the twins' nap.

We had fun covering Amanda and Hailey with snow. Hailey said she wanted to sleep in the snow all night. What kind of mom would I be if I let her?

I was really amazed by the way the snow looked on the roof. It reminded me of a cartoon.

Amanda, Hailey, and a friend from next door. We would like you to meet out pirate snowman. I found two bottles and put food coloring in some water. The girls loved coloring the snow. Next time I think I will use a different color than yellow.

Hailey's Field Trip

2009-11-09T12:27:00.001-08:00

I went with Hailey on her first field trip to Anderson Farm. Hailey had so much fun running to find the perfect pumpkin. After lunch I took our group to see all the farm animals and climb all over the hay maze.

October

2009-10-21T18:13:00.000-07:00

Amanda learned how to ride her bike this weekend. We took the training wheels off about a month ago but she was too nervous. She is so cute and cannot stop telling us how much fun it is to ride her bike. She also lost her first baby tooth. She had a pretty big weekend.

My little boy loves to wrestle. His sisters don't like it much but he gets them anyway and wrestles them if they're laughing or crying. This day he tackled Hailey and Lindsay.

Amanda ran in her school's 1/2 mile pumpkin run. I guess I should say, she walked most of it with three other girls in the back. She told me she was feeling sick. She looks pretty healthy to me. Oh, I love that girl.

Hailey ran the 1/2 mile pumpkin run and came in 12th out of two kindergarten classes. I was really proud. She would practice running from the kitchen to the front door telling me, look how fast I can run. So, cute.

Awesome Grandparents

2009-10-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

David and I had our Anniversary two weekends ago. David's parents watched the kids. It was really nice to have time together. Friday we went out to dinner and the movies. The next day we went to the Temple and did a little Christmas shopping. David's parents are great they made this awesome Halloween ginger bread house with the girls and let the them bring it home to enjoy all month. I wish everyone could smell it, yummy.

First Day of School

2009-08-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

Hailey started Kindergarten yesterday. David and I both got a little tear in our eyes. Both girls did great. Our camera got stolen when we went to the water park a few weeks ago. We will post some pictures when we get our film developed.

Bad Dad Tip of the Day

2009-07-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

The first time one of your kids receives a gift card to Target or Cold Stone Creamery as a birthday gift the poor child will not understand what it is. In order to steal the card from them in broad daylight you must follow my instructions with precision.

After the little angel opens the card, they will hold the gift card up and look confused. Before anyone can explain you must deftly perform what is basically one move with three parts, so pay attention. Sternly, and if necessary, angrily tell your child to say thank you while simultaneously ripping the card out of their darling little hands and handing them another gift to open. The exchange must be simultaneous so as to avert the child's attention to the new gift which presumably contains something better than a piece of plastic with a picture of ice cream on it. You must appear to be angry so that other parents will forget about the card and realize that you are a big jerk. Acting as if you were angry will also cause your child to ignore you. The other parents at the party will look down at the floor or pretend to be busy doing something else because they are ashamed and embarrassed for you. Calmly place the gift card into your pocket while no one is watching. The gift card is now yours. Look around the room at the other parents with a smug look cause you just schooled them and because you are one bad dad. Can I hear you say "FREE DATE NIGHT"?!

2009-07-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

Swim Lessons

2009-07-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

The girls took swim lessons for two weeks from Connie. She was a wonderful teacher. Amanda did very well but Hailey was scared probably until the last day. I was still proud of both girls. We are definitely going to do this again. They loved the water. They also got to practice their swimming skills at grandma's house this past week.

Hailey turned 5

2009-07-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

She had been waiting for this day.

I made this awesome rainbow cake and it was pretty easy.

I just love this picture.

Pinata fun!

I want Candy!!!

Grandma with the twins.

She was so excited when she open each gift. The faces she made were so cute.

Water balloon fight!!!

We had Hailey's party at the park. The kids played! David and I got to chat with some really good friends, Malaan, Prusse's, Vehars, and David's parents. Thank you everyone for making her day special. We love our Hailey so much.

2009-06-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

Last week we spent the day with our friends and had an awesome time. Amanda and Hailey got a little sun burned but they enjoys every minute. Thanks, Leslie for the fun day. We can't wait to come visit again.

What you missed

2009-06-11T18:12:00.001-07:00

Well, our camera has been missing for about two and half months. We are so excited to have it back, Thanks to Grandma Warner for all her hard work. We took these pictures before our camera went missing. I love this picture because Lindsay and Amanda are becoming really good friends. Amanda loves to help with the twins and she has been getting Lindsay's pjs on all week. It's been nice to have her home for the summer. She has even changed two diapers.

Hailey was so excited to find these boots in the shoe box.

Hailey says, That's my Crazzzzzzzzy Hair.

Every one needs a messy food picture.

Blocks or Candy

2009-05-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as we were sitting down for breakfast, Hailey walked up to me with a bucket of blocks. She held the bucket up and asked me if I wanted some candy. I told her that I shouldn't eat any candy before breakfast. She quickly responded, "Its okay, it has fiber in it."

We love Hailey.

Genius

2009-04-22T22:55:00.001-07:00

Pure genius.

Failed Banks

2009-04-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

Every evening I get an email from the Bankruptcy Court that lists all the activity for that day in the bankruptcy cases I'm involved with.

Yesterday the description of one transaction began like this:

Docket Text:
Notice Re: SUBSTITUTION OF THE FDIC AS RECEIVER FOR ---------- BANK

Remember when you used to think that the FDIC was an archaic vestige of the Great Depression?

Best Friends

2009-03-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken a few years ago but I love it. They have always been best friends. They are so funny together and the things they say when they play pretend. It makes David and I laugh all the time. Janel

I am just tired of looking at the last post and I can't get the camera to download.

A Utah Man?

2009-02-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

The Utah fight song is Utah man? Although the origins of Utah Man? are unclear, the general consensus is that the lyrics were written in 1904 by the football team and its coach, Harvey Holmes. While their words were original, the music was not. The tune is Solomon Levi, an old burlesque song. The lyrics are as follows:

1. I am a Utah Man?, sir, and I live across the green,

Our gang it is the jolliest that you have ever seen.

Our coeds? are the fairest and each one's a shining star,

Our yell, you'll hear it ringing through the mountains near and far! (Chorus)

2. And when we prom the avenue, all lined up in a row,

And arm in arm and step in time as down the street we go.

No matter if a freshman green, or in a senior's gown,

The people all admit we are the warmest gang in town. (Chorus)

3. We may not live forever on this jolly good old sphere,

But while we do we'll live a life of merriment and cheer,

And when our college days are o'er and night is drawing nigh,

With parting breath we'll sing that song:

"A Utah Man? Am I". (Chorus)

Chorus

Who am I, sir,

A Utah Man? am I!

A Utah Man?, sir,

Will be 'til I die.

Ki-yi!

We're up to snuff, we never bluff, we're game for any fuss.

No other gang of college men? dare meet us in a muss.

So fill your lungs and sing it out and shout it to the sky,

We'll fight for dear old crimson for a Utah Man? am I!

Go Utes!

2009-02-13T07:20:00.000-08:00

Let's just say that the M&M's got left out by someone from the night before. So, this morning little Matthew could not be found for a few seconds. How many M&M's can one baby fit in his mouth???
7

My Favorite Beach Pictures

2009-01-23T06:01:00.003-08:00

We had so much fun going to the beach. We got there at the perfect time, sun set. Matthew had his first taste of sand and another, then a few more. The girls found a few sand dollars but daddy forgot they were in his pocket.

My sister was up for Christmas with her family and we all went to San Francisco for the day. These are her kids Mikaela and Luca. We loved seeing them! They are fun and beautiful kids.

Happy Birthday, Babies!!!!

2009-01-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

Lindsay was just so happy all day!

We had to wake Matthew up so we could get "THE PARTY STARTED." He wasn't too happy 'bout that.

He changed his mind after the first bite of that yummy cake his mama made. Chocolate cake with chocolate whipped cream frosting, oh so yummy!

Lindsay just picked that cake up and took little bites one at a time. What a little lady.

They got some awesome presents from there grandparents. We had to keep the big girls away so the babies could have a turn.

Accomplishments this year....

Matthew 1. Learned to crawl
2. Learned to walk
3. Can say dada and mom
4. Hair trimmed
5. Plays catch
6. Crawls up the stairs
7. Loves his big sisters

Lindsay 1. Learned to crawl, then walk, then run
2. Can climb into her little rocker
3. Can say dada and mom
4. Crawls up the stairs
5. Plays under the curtains by hiding her face and kicking her feet
6. Loves her big sisters

I can't believe we have only had these two special babies in our home for only one year. It can be hard at times but I really do love having them both. All my children make me so happy.
Happy birthday Matthew and Lindsay.

-Janel

California Holiday 2008/2009

2009-01-16T14:09:00.000-08:00

Christmas in California 2008

2009-01-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

Matthew: "I can't believe Mom brought me to the Oakland Zoo. I hope I someone doesn't pop a cap in my diaper. Oh, I think I just did."

We enjoyed Super Taqueria and a relaxing afternoon with Glaimee.

Lindsay: "Next time let's go to a beach where I can show off my figure."

Thanks Dale!

2009-01-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

Worst Newspaper Ever

2008-12-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

A while back, I got an email message from a foreign prince living in exile. Even though he really wanted me to hold some money in my account for him, I didn't forward my bank routing number to his chief-of-staff. The editors at this newspaper got an email message from the mayor of PARIS. I guess the phony mayor really wanted the newspaper to do something with the message. So they published it. Ha, ha.

Santa is Kinda Scary

2008-12-07T09:33:00.001-08:00

Revenge of the Twilighted Husbands

2008-11-23T09:06:00.000-08:00

After months of hearing about how sexy, noble, and chivalrous the vampire Edward is, husbands can rejoice now that the film version of the best-selling novel Twilight is really stinking up the theaters. Scott and I hung out at my place while our wives, in separate entourages, made their pilgrimage to the cineplex to watch Twilight on Friday night.

Before she went, I warned Janel that many of the movie reviews for Twilight contained words and phrases such as toothless, Asperger's syndrome, ridiculous, hackneyed, sucked the life out of me, silly, and melodramatic to name a few. I told her this in an attempt to lower her expectations, hoping that she would return after enjoying the movie to ask me to nibble on her neck a la Edward in the book. Unfortunately, she and Dana walked in the door and immediate exclaimed, "That movie was HORRIBLE."

Scott and I were slightly pleased to think that the movie version of Edward had not succeeded in further lowering our wives' opinions regarding our own physiques, canine teeth, and ability to detect hot chicks with our sense of smell. Needless to say, no nibbling occured, Janel just complained about the movie until we both fell asleep. And yes, I snuck out of the bed in the middle of the night to replace the soil around the pine tree that I had planned on pulling out with my bare hands to impress Janel with my vampire-like strength.

Accolades

2008-11-23T08:50:00.000-08:00

Congratulations on a great season. Now make the MWC proud. But please, for your own sake, don't sing this:

And when we prom the avenue, all lined up in a row,
And arm in arm and step in time as down the street we go.
No matter if a freshman green, or in a senior's gown,
The people all admit we are the warmest gang in town.

Tradition

2008-11-21T09:12:00.001-08:00

Since the Big Game is nearly upon us I dusted off this classic, and might I add, highly accurate portrayal of the typical Utah fan for your viewing enjoyment. My sincerest apologies to my Tio Bruno and my beloved cousins for the shame this image is sure to cause. Still, I would be remiss not to remind them that repentance is a gift to all God's children, even Ute fans. Join us in cheering the Cougars to victory, and see what life is like without the crippling shame and disappointment you have endured all these long years.

BYU v. Air Force

2008-11-16T15:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Janel!

Tolerance?

2008-11-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

Click here and here.

Tired or Not?

2008-11-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

It was time for the twins to have their morning nap but little Lindsay just did not want to go down. I let her stay up and play downstairs with Hailey. I needed to do the dishes and Lindsay decided she wanted to help me by licking the water that was dripping down the front of the dishwasher. I put her in her play center so that I could finish cleaning up. When I was done I looked over at her to find this. She looks so sweet and kissable.

Hailey and her clothes

2008-11-07T07:09:00.000-08:00

Hailey loves to play dress up and just change her clothes. But the problem is she never puts her clothes away that she just had on. So, last week I decided I would take a picture of her every time she changed in that one day.

El Centro

2008-11-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

I went in to work today (Saturday). I took the elevator down to street level to buy lunch at noon and noticed that things are very different downtown on Saturday. There were no Greenpeace people out and a lot of my favorite lunch places were closed. So I didn't get to look down and mumble "in your dreams" as cute Greenpeace girls with hairy legs asked me if I had time to save the planet. I even had to eat at Taco Bell/Pizza Hut. So today was the first day that I didn't really enjoy working downtown. It was smelly and there weren't a bunch of fancy schmancy office workers about to block out all the homeless people.

We had a fun and warm Halloween night. Janel made a delicious meal and our friends Tyler, Brandhi, and their three girls came over and shared it with us. Then we went trick-or-treating for so long that Hailey, HAILEY, who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES CANDY, said "Let's go home, I have enough candy."

So, yeah, we trick-or-treated for a LONG time.

Also, Janel is the best wife ever and I can't think of what to get her for Christmas. Any ideas? By ideas I mean links to actual items that I can pay for online and have shipped to Janel.

Pumpkin Huntin'

2008-10-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

Today we went to Rock Creek Farm to pick some pumpkins. We were afraid that there wouldn't be any good ones left because this was the last weekend before Halloween, but there were PLENTY. It was a very warm and very windy day.

Amanda ran in a "fun run" for school last week. I don't know why they call it a "fun" run. They're not fooling me. That's why our forefathers wiped out all of the dinosaurs, saber-tooth tigers, mammoths, and unicorns: we were tired of running.

Matthew wasn't fooled.

Amanda was.

TV

2008-10-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

I thought that the "Baby Shower" episode of The Office was great. If you watched it, you'll get this (PG-13): Click here.

California: Vote Yes on Proposition 8

2008-10-18T18:40:00.001-07:00

Preserving marriage website.

Halloween Gingerbread House

2008-10-13T09:06:00.001-07:00

Laveah, Hailey, Micheal, Amanda

The roof would not stay on the house.

Grandma and Papa Warner bought a Halloween ginger bread house for the kids to do this weekend. They had a lot of fun building and eating the house when finished. Amanda enjoys making her teeth black with the frosting. Hailey said, "I had fun eating the candy grandma got. It was so yummy and I still taste it in my tummy."

Pumpkin Fun

2008-10-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

2008-09-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

Lindsay loves pulling up on everything and anything she can find.

Matthew and Lindsay hanging out playing together. Well, what really happens is Lindsay will crawl over to Matthew and he will pat her head or poke her with what ever toy he has. But she loves to be next to him.

Amanda, Matthew, and Hailey watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Amanda wanted me to take a picture of her kissing Matthew.

My New Desktop Wallpaper

2008-09-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

Click here. Now right click on the photograph and choose "Set as Desktop Background." Now you have the same desktop wallpaper as me!

Husbandly Advice

2008-08-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

Okay husbands, time for another installment of things you shouldn't say to your wife. Trust me on these, guys. If you say these things to your wife, she WILL try to poison you.

1. After a extra-romantic evening the night before, do not, I repeat, do NOT wake up in the morning and say, "Oh man, I feel like I just wrestled a bear!"

2. We've all had this one happen: Before you can even put your briefcase down after returning home from a hard day at the office, your wife hands you a baby and tells you how awful the children have been, how she hasn't even been able to shower for three days and then breaks down and starts sobbing. Do not, I repeat, do NOT plug your nose and say, "You also need to brush your teeth."

3. You're trying to watch a very important pre-season game between the Dolphins and the Texans. Your wife asks you to change a stinky diaper because she's mopping the floors. Do not, I repeat, do NOT say "C'mon Honey, I don't interrupt you while you're making dinner."

4. At your anniversary dinner, don't tell her that your marriage just gets better with time because the longer you're married less you remember about what it feels like to be single.

Dungeons and Dragons Tournament at 11:00 p.m. at Dustin's House

2008-08-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

Click here to read something sad. 45 hours a week!

Rocky Mountain Nat'l Park

2008-07-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

As we toured Rocky Mountain National Park, I kept hearing the same thing over and over again behind my back...
..."that's one tough hombre!"

Work Party

2008-07-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

Janel and I attended my firm's summer party last night. Thanks to some wonderful friends we were able to go without the children. I really enjoyed myself except that Janel kept trying to make out with me. I was like, what is this, "prom night"? The food and ambiance were excellent.

My Desktop Background

2008-06-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

Go here. Now right click on the photograph and choose "Set as Desktop Background." Now you have the same desktop wallpaper as me!

Amanda's Kindergarten Graduation

2008-06-08T17:08:00.000-07:00

Amanda

2008-06-08T15:35:00.001-07:00

Random

2008-06-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Matthew and Lindsay

I love when my Daddy kisses my face

The biggest and best helper

Wednesday, see ya this summer

2008-03-28T13:22:00.001-07:00

Monday at Garden of the Gods & Park

2008-03-28T12:55:00.001-07:00

Easter Blessings

2008-03-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

Saturday Egg Fun

2008-03-28T12:32:00.001-07:00

Formula Hogs

2008-03-19T06:49:00.001-07:00

2008-01-28T09:04:00.001-08:00

2008-01-22T07:25:00.001-08:00

Please help me to choose the best caption for this photograph or come up with your own. You can do it!

It's funny 'cause it's true.
Sadly, Harold returned to find that Hortencia Hot-Hips was gone...and sitting with a much more attractive BYU fan.
"That's right, Dan, Utah has finally decided to use models in their clothing catalog that are more representative of their actual fans...and their fashion sense. Wow, Al, all I can say is that I'm shocked...and nauseous!"
Somewhere between Ronald McDonald and Grimace we find the missing link: Ute Fan.
People laughed...until they learned that he was pregnant with triplets.
Rick Majerus Jr.
"If this were a World of Warcraft tournament, we would be winning."
"I'm sad because these shorts don't prevent my thighs from chafing."
"My lips hurt real bad."
"I wish my fanny-pack still fit me."
"Alas, methinks ye olde armor shall attract many wenches at the renaissance faire."
"If only my cousin were here, we'd show them a thing or two."

Sahweet!

2008-01-21T21:30:00.000-08:00

Booger, fart, butt, armpit, poop, pee, snot.

January 14, 2008

2008-01-16T08:35:00.001-08:00

What was really cool about this visit was that Britney Spears stopped by to volunteer in the NICU. You could tell that she really knew her way around and that the nurses sincerely appreciated her help. It is so rare to see a celebrity that loves kids that much. She asked me not to take any pictures.

Janel's Inspiration

2008-01-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

You might be wondering how Janel was able to deliver two wee tots one right after the other without having a stroke. Well the answer is staring you right in the eye bulbs. This dude was up in Janel's face! Motivatin' the heck out of the entire hospital!

Ever since I first saw this picture I've been thinking about changing professions. I could be the creepiest food service worker ever! Kids would be too scared to buy hot lunch. Working moms throughout the school district would be waking up early to pack a cold lunch for those freaked out students.

More Pictures of Matthew

2008-01-14T07:39:00.001-08:00

Matthew about 3 hours after delivery.

Matthew again.

Matthew and Lindsay

2008-01-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

Janel and Lindsay

Amanda and Lindsay

Matthew

Lindsay

Lindsay

Matthew

Delivered: Head first

Born: 4:03 a.m. on 1/12/08

Weight: 4 lbs. 8 oz.

Height: 18 inches

Breathing on his own and barely nursing (he gets tired fast).

Still in the NICU until he can eat more, gains a little weight, and stays under the lights a little longer for the jaundice.

Lindsay

Delivered: Breach

Born: 4:28 a.m. on 1/12/08

Weight: 5 lbs. 5 oz.

Height: 18 inches

Breathing on her own and nursing more vigorously than Matt.

Still in the NICU until she can eat more and gains a little weight.

Janel's Big Belly

2008-01-08T14:08:00.001-08:00

Janel is 34 weeks pregnant and still going strong. We hope the babies can wait until February 1st.

Fun Holiday Season

2007-12-31T07:20:00.001-08:00

Amanda enjoyed a birthday party with many of her friends.

Although their uncle won't admit it, he has fun playing with the girls.

Beth, Mom, and Amanda sledding at Mueller State Park. This time it was me, rather than Dale, who was unsuccessful at taking mom out--permanently. Perhaps if we had worked together...

The EXTREMELY warm and cozy party cabin that Mom and Dad rented.

Dale pretending to be surprised.

Portrait of Cruelty

2007-12-29T11:28:00.001-08:00

Janel always pretends she is sad when she is in a picture with me. That is her attempt to mask the physical abuse that I endure at her hand each day of my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!

2007-11-26T10:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday!
We love this man so much because he is a great father and husband.

I couldn't find a recent picture of just David by himself but the girls add a cute touch.
We took this on Amanda's first day of school.

I love Fall

2007-11-06T15:20:00.000-08:00

Amanda has been asking for weeks when there would be enough leaves to jump into. So, the winds came and blew the trees and soon our yard was covered with fall leaves.

Holy...Neighbor, Batman

2007-11-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

"The Load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it...It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship...It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all plays, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal...Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses."

-C.S. Lewis Quoted in "Lawyers and the Atonement" by Thomas B. Griffith. Life in the Law, 2004, 238.

Scary Pumpkins

2007-10-28T18:08:00.001-07:00

We decided to paint the pumpkins this year. The girls thought they looked pretty scary.
I'm going to brag a little bit because it took a lot of work. These are the pumpkins from my garden and we have 11 more. I've been making pumpkin bread and pumpkin pancakes. I'm going to make some pie this week too. I really enjoyed seeing my garden grow and produce vegetables. The girls had a lot of fun helping me, too.

Move Here

2007-10-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

Colorado Springs rules your face.