"If haply one has seen my Cato's house,
His shingles stained with red,
His garden over which Priapus watched..."
[Suetonius, On Grammarians XI]
"My nature suits any role: turn me to which you wish, and I shall fit it well" [Vertumnus. Propertius, Elegies 4.2]
Janel harvested quite a few pumpkins today. Fall has arrived and we took a drive Friday night to see the Aspens.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Dragons are NOT Cool
By guest blogger James Shepley from Garlic Boy's Webelos Den
Although many people think that dragons are cool they are not. This is a proven scientific theory. If dragons were actually awesome they would not be extinct.
I wish dragons had never existed because I hate anything that has to do with dragons. My friend Ronald says that dragons are very agile and can burn stuff while they are flying. (Well Ronald congratulations you have just proved that you are an idiot dragon-lover.) If a dragon ever tried to shoot fire from its mouth while it was flying the fire would fly back into the dragons face and burn his eyes. Just like the time you spit out of my mom's car on the freeway Ronald.
Ronald also thinks that dragons' scales are like the armor plating on a tank. Think again Ronald! They would be too heavy and dragons wouldn't be able to fly. I think that the greatest mythical beast is the Karkadann. Who cares if it went blind after killing an elephant?! Anyone who has had lots of melted elephant fat flow into his eyes will understand that predicament.
So many people are in love with dragons. They obviously haven't ever watched Mulan. If that movie doesn't make you hate dragons then you are an Oprah lover too. My other friend, Damian, draws dragons in his spare time. That is why he is flunking math.
Dragons are weak because they love gold and trinkets. Lame. I only know of one other person who loves trinkets as much as dragons and that is Damian. Damian has a lot of dragon stuff and dolls too. You can take Damian's dragon quiz here.
In conclusion I would like to say that if you love dragons you should have to fight the Karkadann.
Although many people think that dragons are cool they are not. This is a proven scientific theory. If dragons were actually awesome they would not be extinct.
I wish dragons had never existed because I hate anything that has to do with dragons. My friend Ronald says that dragons are very agile and can burn stuff while they are flying. (Well Ronald congratulations you have just proved that you are an idiot dragon-lover.) If a dragon ever tried to shoot fire from its mouth while it was flying the fire would fly back into the dragons face and burn his eyes. Just like the time you spit out of my mom's car on the freeway Ronald.
Ronald also thinks that dragons' scales are like the armor plating on a tank. Think again Ronald! They would be too heavy and dragons wouldn't be able to fly. I think that the greatest mythical beast is the Karkadann. Who cares if it went blind after killing an elephant?! Anyone who has had lots of melted elephant fat flow into his eyes will understand that predicament.
So many people are in love with dragons. They obviously haven't ever watched Mulan. If that movie doesn't make you hate dragons then you are an Oprah lover too. My other friend, Damian, draws dragons in his spare time. That is why he is flunking math.
Dragons are weak because they love gold and trinkets. Lame. I only know of one other person who loves trinkets as much as dragons and that is Damian. Damian has a lot of dragon stuff and dolls too. You can take Damian's dragon quiz here.
In conclusion I would like to say that if you love dragons you should have to fight the Karkadann.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Busy...but...not busy?
Just read about all the things that have been happening at the Warner home!
1. The Fish family stopped by on there way home to Texas. It was just like old times. The girls just looked at each other and said "Hi." Leah and I were expecting screams and big hugs. It was so nice to see close friends. David was excited because Zeb brought his Wii. [Editor's note: Wii, not wee.]
2. Amanda started school on August 16. She loves it and is learning so much. David drops her off on his way to work and I pick her up after Hailey and I take a nap. [Editor's note: Janel takes a nap every stinking day!!! And still goes to bed at 8:30!!! She must be pregnant with twins.] Today when Amanda got home she practiced writing her letters for an hour. On Saturday she asked why she couldn't go to school. I was a little nervous before the school-year started because she attends all-day kindergarten but she is handling it just fine.
3. David got called to be the Webelos leader. He is going to be great at teaching the boys to burn stuff. [Editor's note: A Webelos leader need only possess 5 objects to successfully entertain the den. A match, a knife, a rope, a stick, and a bucket of water.]
4. We went camping Labor Day weekend with David's parents, brothers, sister, and cousins. We camped next to a river and it was very beautiful.
5. Hailey and I went to the Colorado Springs Zoo yesterday [Cheyenne Mountain Zoo] with our friend Heather and her boys. It was a lot of fun. The zoo is on the side of the mountain so it was a really good work out. They had three baby giraffes. Hailey got to feed a giraffe a cracker and got scared when his long tongue came out to get the cracker.
6. We are going to find out the gender of our babies on October 2. So that will probably be the next time we post. [Editor's note: If you're lucky.]
7. Our camera broke right before the Fish family came to visit so we have no new pictures. Hopefully we will get a camera soon. [Editor's note: I'm working as hard as I can, Janel.]
8. Amy and Josh Oelrich travelled to Colorado Springs so that David could help them finalize their adoption. Scott and Kristie Lawrence also came to witness the joyous occasion. David got to question Josh and Amy under oath and gave me a transcript of the proceedings so that I could post some of the questions David asked.
Question: "Mr. Oelrich, answer this question "yes" or "no." Have you stopped beating your wife?"
Question: "Mrs. Oelrich, isn't it true that you regularly give your children juice boxes with no natural fruit juice added?"
So anyhow, the court finalized the adoption in spite of the attorney and David was very pleased to have been a part of such a special occasion in the lives of some of his favorite and closest friends from Gilroy and Hollister. Many of you might not know this but David lived down the street from the Lawrence family when he was in high school and rode the Lawrence/Warner commuter scooter frequently.
Now Janel is complaining that I have taken over her post when I was only supposed to proof-read it. Well, I cannot help that she has a tremendous ______ and is now demanding that I join her in the ________. Janel, Janel, if the world only knew you like I do.
1. The Fish family stopped by on there way home to Texas. It was just like old times. The girls just looked at each other and said "Hi." Leah and I were expecting screams and big hugs. It was so nice to see close friends. David was excited because Zeb brought his Wii. [Editor's note: Wii, not wee.]
2. Amanda started school on August 16. She loves it and is learning so much. David drops her off on his way to work and I pick her up after Hailey and I take a nap. [Editor's note: Janel takes a nap every stinking day!!! And still goes to bed at 8:30!!! She must be pregnant with twins.] Today when Amanda got home she practiced writing her letters for an hour. On Saturday she asked why she couldn't go to school. I was a little nervous before the school-year started because she attends all-day kindergarten but she is handling it just fine.
3. David got called to be the Webelos leader. He is going to be great at teaching the boys to burn stuff. [Editor's note: A Webelos leader need only possess 5 objects to successfully entertain the den. A match, a knife, a rope, a stick, and a bucket of water.]
4. We went camping Labor Day weekend with David's parents, brothers, sister, and cousins. We camped next to a river and it was very beautiful.
5. Hailey and I went to the Colorado Springs Zoo yesterday [Cheyenne Mountain Zoo] with our friend Heather and her boys. It was a lot of fun. The zoo is on the side of the mountain so it was a really good work out. They had three baby giraffes. Hailey got to feed a giraffe a cracker and got scared when his long tongue came out to get the cracker.
6. We are going to find out the gender of our babies on October 2. So that will probably be the next time we post. [Editor's note: If you're lucky.]
7. Our camera broke right before the Fish family came to visit so we have no new pictures. Hopefully we will get a camera soon. [Editor's note: I'm working as hard as I can, Janel.]
8. Amy and Josh Oelrich travelled to Colorado Springs so that David could help them finalize their adoption. Scott and Kristie Lawrence also came to witness the joyous occasion. David got to question Josh and Amy under oath and gave me a transcript of the proceedings so that I could post some of the questions David asked.
Question: "Mr. Oelrich, answer this question "yes" or "no." Have you stopped beating your wife?"
Question: "Mrs. Oelrich, isn't it true that you regularly give your children juice boxes with no natural fruit juice added?"
So anyhow, the court finalized the adoption in spite of the attorney and David was very pleased to have been a part of such a special occasion in the lives of some of his favorite and closest friends from Gilroy and Hollister. Many of you might not know this but David lived down the street from the Lawrence family when he was in high school and rode the Lawrence/Warner commuter scooter frequently.
Now Janel is complaining that I have taken over her post when I was only supposed to proof-read it. Well, I cannot help that she has a tremendous ______ and is now demanding that I join her in the ________. Janel, Janel, if the world only knew you like I do.
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