Saturday, April 30, 2005
Finals are Over
Finals are over for the Spring Quarter at Baylor. What a week. Thanks Mrs. Garlic Boy, Amanda, and Hailey for taking care of the homestead while I was gone. I'm thankful I had a good study partner, Bryan, to keep me studying when what I really wanted to do was drive my car off of a bridge into the Brazos. Ah, the sweet, sweet, clear water of the Brazos. I've got to go get Amanda some fruit snacks. SCHOOL IS OUT, SUMMER TIME!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Cookie Monster Epic
Mr T. is loving life. Things are going swimmingly for him. I talked to him on the phone the other day. He says that Julia doesn't get enough sleep and that he needs her to hold still more so that he can do aerobics.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
There's More than One Way to Use Paper in the Restroom
Dear Bathroom Buddy:
Just like you, I use the restroom on the second floor of the law school library whenever I need to release "the hostages." I just wanted you to know that I appreciate the reading material you leave for me on the toilet paper dispenser. The variety is great and you don't cycle the books through too quickly. It takes me a while to get through the really thick novels. I especially liked, 101 Great Lawyer Jokes. I also enjoyed, "Elder Law and the 21st Century." Maybe someday we'll meet and I'll ask you to recommend some titles for my bathroom at home.
Good Reading,
Garlic Boy
Just like you, I use the restroom on the second floor of the law school library whenever I need to release "the hostages." I just wanted you to know that I appreciate the reading material you leave for me on the toilet paper dispenser. The variety is great and you don't cycle the books through too quickly. It takes me a while to get through the really thick novels. I especially liked, 101 Great Lawyer Jokes. I also enjoyed, "Elder Law and the 21st Century." Maybe someday we'll meet and I'll ask you to recommend some titles for my bathroom at home.
Good Reading,
Garlic Boy
Monday, April 25, 2005
My Favorite Law School Exam Characters
A gun salesman discussed in the Business Organizations exam: N.R. Ray
The wife's secret lover mentioned in the Trusts and Estates exam: Gig E. Lowe
The wife's secret lover mentioned in the Trusts and Estates exam: Gig E. Lowe
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Cookie Monster Goes Bananas
Cookie Monster Advocating Eating Healthy
Cookie Monster Eating Fewer Cookies to Advocate Eating Healthy As Childhood Obesity Rates Soar
By CHELSEA J. CARTER
The Associated Press
NEW YORK Apr 7, 2005 — Something must be wrong in the land of Muppets. First PBS announced that "Sesame Street" would kick off its 36th season this week with a multiyear story arc about healthy habits. No problem there; childhood obesity rates are soaring. Then I learned of changes that turned my "Sesame Street" world upside-down.
My beloved blue, furry monster who sang "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me" is now advocating eating healthy. There's even a new song "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.
"Sacrilege!" I cried. "That's akin to Oscar the Grouch being nice and clean." (Co-workers gave me strange looks. But I didn't care.)
Being a journalist, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I investigated why "Sesame Street" gave Cookie Monster a health makeover.
The answer would lead me into a world where television producers worked with health experts and politicians, a place where Cookie Monster does care about his health, and by association, the health of children.
The first place I headed was the Internet. On the Sesame Street Web site, little had changed. There was Cookie Monster, in all his blue furriness. He was holding a plate of cookies. He was chomping on a cookie. He still looked the same. But as we all know, looks can be deceiving.
So I searched the site for news on Cookie Monster and up popped a press release about the show's "Healthy Habits for Life" emphasis. Buried near the bottom was a one-sentence mention about Cookie Monster eating fewer cookies.
But what did that mean? Scarfing one plateful instead of two?
I picked up the telephone. "What's going on with Cookie Monster?" I asked the "Sesame Street" press office. "Why are you doing this?"
They sent me to Dr. Rosemarie T. Truglio, the show's vice president of research and education.
She said the show changes every year, focusing not just on teaching numbers and letters but also emotional and physical health. With the rise in childhood obesity, Truglio said "Sesame Street" is concentrating on the need to teach children about healthy foods and physical activity.
This season, each episode opens with a "health tip" about nutrition, exercise, hygiene and rest.
Truglio said "Sesame Street" also will introduce new characters, such as talking eggplants and carrots, and offer parodies, such as "American Fruit Stand." Even guest stars will address healthy activities, such as Alicia Keys talking and singing about the importance of physical activity.
Even politicians have gotten into the act, filming public service announcements with "Sesame Street" residents. In one taping, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist taught Elmo to exercise jumping up and down. In another, Sen. Hillary Clinton and the small red monster discuss the various textures and tastes of foods.
But what about their position on Cookiegate?
"Even Cookie Monster is learning to control his cookie cravings," Frist told me by e-mail. "His sage advice opened our eyes to the simple joys of a tasty cookie and now reminds us that moderation is the key to healthy living."
Cookie Monster was not available for comment. (I'm hoping he hasn't gone too Hollywood.)
"We are not putting him on a diet," said his spokesman, Truglio. "And we would never take the position of no sugar. We're teaching him moderation."
The furry one also plans to try different kinds of cookies (read: healthier cookies) rather than his just staple, chocolate chip.
But will he still scarf his food? Yes, plus the occasional object, Truglio said.
But isn't that unhealthy? Her reply: He's still Cookie Monster.
Cookie Monster appears to be happy with the new "sometimes food" song, because at the end he warbles: "Is sometimes now?"
"Yes," he's told.
So there it is. Cookie Monster still gobbles cookies, he's just a healthier version of his old self. His eyes are still googly, his fur is still scruffy and he's still messy.
Even "Sesame Street" recognizes that we all need guilty pleasures.
Cookie Monster Eating Fewer Cookies to Advocate Eating Healthy As Childhood Obesity Rates Soar
By CHELSEA J. CARTER
The Associated Press
NEW YORK Apr 7, 2005 — Something must be wrong in the land of Muppets. First PBS announced that "Sesame Street" would kick off its 36th season this week with a multiyear story arc about healthy habits. No problem there; childhood obesity rates are soaring. Then I learned of changes that turned my "Sesame Street" world upside-down.
My beloved blue, furry monster who sang "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me" is now advocating eating healthy. There's even a new song "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.
"Sacrilege!" I cried. "That's akin to Oscar the Grouch being nice and clean." (Co-workers gave me strange looks. But I didn't care.)
Being a journalist, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I investigated why "Sesame Street" gave Cookie Monster a health makeover.
The answer would lead me into a world where television producers worked with health experts and politicians, a place where Cookie Monster does care about his health, and by association, the health of children.
The first place I headed was the Internet. On the Sesame Street Web site, little had changed. There was Cookie Monster, in all his blue furriness. He was holding a plate of cookies. He was chomping on a cookie. He still looked the same. But as we all know, looks can be deceiving.
So I searched the site for news on Cookie Monster and up popped a press release about the show's "Healthy Habits for Life" emphasis. Buried near the bottom was a one-sentence mention about Cookie Monster eating fewer cookies.
But what did that mean? Scarfing one plateful instead of two?
I picked up the telephone. "What's going on with Cookie Monster?" I asked the "Sesame Street" press office. "Why are you doing this?"
They sent me to Dr. Rosemarie T. Truglio, the show's vice president of research and education.
She said the show changes every year, focusing not just on teaching numbers and letters but also emotional and physical health. With the rise in childhood obesity, Truglio said "Sesame Street" is concentrating on the need to teach children about healthy foods and physical activity.
This season, each episode opens with a "health tip" about nutrition, exercise, hygiene and rest.
Truglio said "Sesame Street" also will introduce new characters, such as talking eggplants and carrots, and offer parodies, such as "American Fruit Stand." Even guest stars will address healthy activities, such as Alicia Keys talking and singing about the importance of physical activity.
Even politicians have gotten into the act, filming public service announcements with "Sesame Street" residents. In one taping, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist taught Elmo to exercise jumping up and down. In another, Sen. Hillary Clinton and the small red monster discuss the various textures and tastes of foods.
But what about their position on Cookiegate?
"Even Cookie Monster is learning to control his cookie cravings," Frist told me by e-mail. "His sage advice opened our eyes to the simple joys of a tasty cookie and now reminds us that moderation is the key to healthy living."
Cookie Monster was not available for comment. (I'm hoping he hasn't gone too Hollywood.)
"We are not putting him on a diet," said his spokesman, Truglio. "And we would never take the position of no sugar. We're teaching him moderation."
The furry one also plans to try different kinds of cookies (read: healthier cookies) rather than his just staple, chocolate chip.
But will he still scarf his food? Yes, plus the occasional object, Truglio said.
But isn't that unhealthy? Her reply: He's still Cookie Monster.
Cookie Monster appears to be happy with the new "sometimes food" song, because at the end he warbles: "Is sometimes now?"
"Yes," he's told.
So there it is. Cookie Monster still gobbles cookies, he's just a healthier version of his old self. His eyes are still googly, his fur is still scruffy and he's still messy.
Even "Sesame Street" recognizes that we all need guilty pleasures.
A "Brownish Mass" in Her Nostril
HONG KONG Apr 8, 2005 — Doctors have removed a leech from the nose of a 55-year-old Hong Kong woman after she swam and washed her face in a stream, a medical journal reported.
The woman went to her doctor complaining of nose bleeds and an occasional sensation that something was blocking her left nostril, the Hong Kong Medical Journal said in its April issue. Her family doctor noticed a "brownish mass" in her nostril but couldn't remove it because of heavy bleeding, the journal said.
The patient was taken to the emergency room, where doctors identified the problem as a bloodsucking leech. They had trouble pulling it out because the 2 inch invertebrate retracted into the nostril and disappeared, the journal said.
Part of the slimy leech was in a passage of her nasal cavity and a larger segment was in her sinus cavity, the article said.
Doctors used a nasal spray to anesthetize the dark brown leech that had a sucker on the front part of its body. "After two minutes, the leech moved slowly out of the antrum (sinus) and was retrieved with forceps," the journal said.
The woman said that one month before her symptoms developed, she swam and washed her face in a stream while hiking. Doctors checked other members of her hiking group and found another leech in the nose of a man who washed his face in the stream, the journal said.
The article said the leech could have caused suffocation if it moved into the patients' larynx, or voice box.
On the Net: A copy of the Hong Kong Medical Journal nose leech article: www.hkmj.org.hk/hkmj/
The woman went to her doctor complaining of nose bleeds and an occasional sensation that something was blocking her left nostril, the Hong Kong Medical Journal said in its April issue. Her family doctor noticed a "brownish mass" in her nostril but couldn't remove it because of heavy bleeding, the journal said.
The patient was taken to the emergency room, where doctors identified the problem as a bloodsucking leech. They had trouble pulling it out because the 2 inch invertebrate retracted into the nostril and disappeared, the journal said.
Part of the slimy leech was in a passage of her nasal cavity and a larger segment was in her sinus cavity, the article said.
Doctors used a nasal spray to anesthetize the dark brown leech that had a sucker on the front part of its body. "After two minutes, the leech moved slowly out of the antrum (sinus) and was retrieved with forceps," the journal said.
The woman said that one month before her symptoms developed, she swam and washed her face in a stream while hiking. Doctors checked other members of her hiking group and found another leech in the nose of a man who washed his face in the stream, the journal said.
The article said the leech could have caused suffocation if it moved into the patients' larynx, or voice box.
On the Net: A copy of the Hong Kong Medical Journal nose leech article: www.hkmj.org.hk/hkmj/
Mexican Patrol Helps Out 'Migrantes'
Mexican patrol helps out 'migrantes'
By Deborah Bulkeley
Deseret Morning News
AGUA PRIETA, Mexico — Ask Carlos A. Zozaya Moreno if the "migrantes" crossing the Sonoran desert are dangerous and he'll laugh and shake his head.
Hector Cordova, front, and Carlos A. Zozaya Moreno from Grupo Beta, a Mexican government agency, check for footprints in Sonora. Moreno, an agent with Grupo Beta, Mexico's government agency charged with protecting the human rights of migrants, listens to country music as he drives his orange pickup truck through the wilderness just south of Arizona. He's looking for signs of migrants and keeping an eye on members of the Minuteman Project, a monthlong U.S. civilian effort to watch the border and report crossers to Border Patrol. Another Grupo Beta agent, Julio Cesar Cancino, says his job is simple — to provide migrants with food, water and, if needed, a ride back to the city for medical attention. "The migrants only want to work," he said. Unlike many of the minutemen, yards away on the other side of a barbed wire fence marking the border, the Grupo Beta agents aren't armed. When asked what the chances are of finding any migrants today, the agents reply, very slim. Agent Hector Salazar said the minutemen sitting just across the border have deterred some migrants and diverted routes of "coyotes," or immigrant smugglers, but there are still people trying to cross the border here. "They don't read newspapers or watch TV," he said. "They don't know about the minutemen." The U.S. Border Patrol attributes the decreased attempts at border crossing to increased activity in the area by Mexican authorities. On this day, the Grupo Beta agents start hiking at a spot with a water container marked with a blue flag, proceed past the remnants of a camp, and continue as the path narrows. They're following a trail of footprints, abandoned water bottles and tuna cans. The path becomes just wide enough for one person at a time as it drops into a winding 6-foot ravine. The agents eventually climb out of the ravine, following the trail through twists of brambles. The migrants, they say, travel mostly at night without the aid of a flashlight.
document.
It's hard to keep up with the agents as they move along, in and out of the ravines, ducking below low-hanging branches. The terrain is at times sandy, sometimes rocky. On this April day, it's 80 degrees at noon. Critics of Grupo Beta say they are helping people illegally enter the United States. Alex Segura, a minuteman and board member of Utahns for Immigration Reform and Enforcement, said booklets that Grupo Beta agents give to those attempting to cross the border suggest they're doing more than providing humanitarian aid. "The whole bottom line of the whole survival guide is to help them survive their way into this country," he said. "We know their government is actually encouraging" illegal immigration. The booklets warn about the dangers of crossing the border and provide information about safe passage and their rights if detained in the United States. Another booklet, designed for those from countries other than Mexico, provides information about Mexican laws. Kat Rodriguez, spokeswoman for Coalici—n de Derechos Humanos in Tucson, Ariz., said most immigrants walk some 75 miles across the desert, a day or more of that before they cross the border. While the minutemen accuse Grupo Beta of aiding and abetting illegal immigration, Rodriguez sees it another way — they're helping people survive.
"The people have made a decision they are coming," she said. "To say the guide is promoting migration is to say handing someone a first-aid kit is promoting them to go out and get hurt. . . . All you can do is offer them as much as you can to prevent them from getting hurt."
Carlos A. Zozaya Moreno, left, Hector Cordova and Henry Henrez from Grupo Beta prepare to search for people hiding in the desert region of Sonora, Mexico. The group provides migrants with food and water. Andy Adame, spokesman for the Tucson Sector Border Patrol, said the Border Patrol's Search Trauma and Rescue Team routinely works with Grupo Beta on cross-border search and rescue missions and attempts to reunite families. Both governments have worked together on the Border Safety Initiative, which this year became year-round, since 2001. "The bottom line is we're out there trying to save lives," Adame said. "Our primary mission is to secure the border, but we do have a responsibility to make the borders safe." Adame said he hasn't seen Grupo Beta try to deter anyone from crossing the border, but they do warn people about the dangers. The summer heat is most severe in western Arizona, he said, where temperatures reach 118 degrees. In the winter, the chill factor in eastern Arizona becomes deadly. Along the U.S. side of the 261 miles of Tucson sector border, there were 561 rescues and 141 deaths last year, Adame said. "They address the issue of 'if you come, look out for this,' " Adame said. "We address the issue of 'don't come because of this.' "
By Deborah Bulkeley
Deseret Morning News
AGUA PRIETA, Mexico — Ask Carlos A. Zozaya Moreno if the "migrantes" crossing the Sonoran desert are dangerous and he'll laugh and shake his head.
Hector Cordova, front, and Carlos A. Zozaya Moreno from Grupo Beta, a Mexican government agency, check for footprints in Sonora. Moreno, an agent with Grupo Beta, Mexico's government agency charged with protecting the human rights of migrants, listens to country music as he drives his orange pickup truck through the wilderness just south of Arizona. He's looking for signs of migrants and keeping an eye on members of the Minuteman Project, a monthlong U.S. civilian effort to watch the border and report crossers to Border Patrol. Another Grupo Beta agent, Julio Cesar Cancino, says his job is simple — to provide migrants with food, water and, if needed, a ride back to the city for medical attention. "The migrants only want to work," he said. Unlike many of the minutemen, yards away on the other side of a barbed wire fence marking the border, the Grupo Beta agents aren't armed. When asked what the chances are of finding any migrants today, the agents reply, very slim. Agent Hector Salazar said the minutemen sitting just across the border have deterred some migrants and diverted routes of "coyotes," or immigrant smugglers, but there are still people trying to cross the border here. "They don't read newspapers or watch TV," he said. "They don't know about the minutemen." The U.S. Border Patrol attributes the decreased attempts at border crossing to increased activity in the area by Mexican authorities. On this day, the Grupo Beta agents start hiking at a spot with a water container marked with a blue flag, proceed past the remnants of a camp, and continue as the path narrows. They're following a trail of footprints, abandoned water bottles and tuna cans. The path becomes just wide enough for one person at a time as it drops into a winding 6-foot ravine. The agents eventually climb out of the ravine, following the trail through twists of brambles. The migrants, they say, travel mostly at night without the aid of a flashlight.
document.
It's hard to keep up with the agents as they move along, in and out of the ravines, ducking below low-hanging branches. The terrain is at times sandy, sometimes rocky. On this April day, it's 80 degrees at noon. Critics of Grupo Beta say they are helping people illegally enter the United States. Alex Segura, a minuteman and board member of Utahns for Immigration Reform and Enforcement, said booklets that Grupo Beta agents give to those attempting to cross the border suggest they're doing more than providing humanitarian aid. "The whole bottom line of the whole survival guide is to help them survive their way into this country," he said. "We know their government is actually encouraging" illegal immigration. The booklets warn about the dangers of crossing the border and provide information about safe passage and their rights if detained in the United States. Another booklet, designed for those from countries other than Mexico, provides information about Mexican laws. Kat Rodriguez, spokeswoman for Coalici—n de Derechos Humanos in Tucson, Ariz., said most immigrants walk some 75 miles across the desert, a day or more of that before they cross the border. While the minutemen accuse Grupo Beta of aiding and abetting illegal immigration, Rodriguez sees it another way — they're helping people survive.
"The people have made a decision they are coming," she said. "To say the guide is promoting migration is to say handing someone a first-aid kit is promoting them to go out and get hurt. . . . All you can do is offer them as much as you can to prevent them from getting hurt."
Carlos A. Zozaya Moreno, left, Hector Cordova and Henry Henrez from Grupo Beta prepare to search for people hiding in the desert region of Sonora, Mexico. The group provides migrants with food and water. Andy Adame, spokesman for the Tucson Sector Border Patrol, said the Border Patrol's Search Trauma and Rescue Team routinely works with Grupo Beta on cross-border search and rescue missions and attempts to reunite families. Both governments have worked together on the Border Safety Initiative, which this year became year-round, since 2001. "The bottom line is we're out there trying to save lives," Adame said. "Our primary mission is to secure the border, but we do have a responsibility to make the borders safe." Adame said he hasn't seen Grupo Beta try to deter anyone from crossing the border, but they do warn people about the dangers. The summer heat is most severe in western Arizona, he said, where temperatures reach 118 degrees. In the winter, the chill factor in eastern Arizona becomes deadly. Along the U.S. side of the 261 miles of Tucson sector border, there were 561 rescues and 141 deaths last year, Adame said. "They address the issue of 'if you come, look out for this,' " Adame said. "We address the issue of 'don't come because of this.' "
Friday, April 08, 2005
Some Alien Blessings Make Your Honeymoon Better
Today we’ll read some more letters from readers. This one is from Braunfels, New Guinea.
Odiferous One,
I didn’t believe in alien blessings until I got one. I was walking along in the middle of nowhere just minding my own business when a little shrub starts talking to me. It just starts jabbering away like we've been friends our whole lives. So I says, “Listen here Mr. Shrub. I don’t know you from Adam, and I’m not about to accept this kind of thing from a shrub, especially on my honeymoon.” So the shrub quiets down and just kind of shimmies and shakes for a while. It was a pretty violent little dance you might say, and it lost most of its leaves in the process. Then it starts humming or buzzing, if you will. The humming gets louder and louder until the shrub shouts “ALIEN BLESSING!” and then goes back to being a normal shrub but without any leaves. Well, I don’t know what to think so I start walking back to my hotel. When I gets back to my room I've already received my alien blessing. I couldn’t believe it. There, on my pillow, was the most tasty wee chocolate I’ve ever eaten.
Thanks G.B.,
Angus McSwain
Angus,
I’m speechless.
G.B.
Well there you have it folks. The letters are pouring in from all over the globe. If you have an alien blessing story that you'd like the entire world to know about, email it to me. Toast Habit, JRW, CJW, DAW, JRWjr., BB, and even JBW, we want to know the whole story.
Odiferous One,
I didn’t believe in alien blessings until I got one. I was walking along in the middle of nowhere just minding my own business when a little shrub starts talking to me. It just starts jabbering away like we've been friends our whole lives. So I says, “Listen here Mr. Shrub. I don’t know you from Adam, and I’m not about to accept this kind of thing from a shrub, especially on my honeymoon.” So the shrub quiets down and just kind of shimmies and shakes for a while. It was a pretty violent little dance you might say, and it lost most of its leaves in the process. Then it starts humming or buzzing, if you will. The humming gets louder and louder until the shrub shouts “ALIEN BLESSING!” and then goes back to being a normal shrub but without any leaves. Well, I don’t know what to think so I start walking back to my hotel. When I gets back to my room I've already received my alien blessing. I couldn’t believe it. There, on my pillow, was the most tasty wee chocolate I’ve ever eaten.
Thanks G.B.,
Angus McSwain
Angus,
I’m speechless.
G.B.
Well there you have it folks. The letters are pouring in from all over the globe. If you have an alien blessing story that you'd like the entire world to know about, email it to me. Toast Habit, JRW, CJW, DAW, JRWjr., BB, and even JBW, we want to know the whole story.
Some Alien Blessings Make Us Rich
I, Garlic Boy, would like to take this time to thank my faithful readers. I know that you put up with a lot. I know that you want more photographs of the little cloves. Still, despite the lack of photographs you patiently read on. Thank you. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Most of them make me laugh out loud. Some of them, like this one, touch my heart.
A reader from Ralstop, Kansas writes,
Dear Garlicboy,
I too used to pick my skin and hoard it. An alien blessing made me do it. After I removed the radio from my tooth I no longer felt the urge to hoard my skin. So I took the bags of dried skin that I had collected and fed some to my hamster, Algernon. Algernon couldn’t get enough. He absolutely loved it. So I started my own skin farm and a hamster food factory. Thanks to some alien blessing I am now a millionaire. I even have the alien tooth-radio on my office wall.
Thanks Garlicboy,
Theresa Barton
Theresa,
Its stories like yours that remind us of what it means to be an American. Keep that skin farm going and the dream alive. I'll be here writing as long as alien blessings are inspiring skin farmers to build hamster food factories. Bless you, Theresa. Bless you.
G.B.
A reader from Ralstop, Kansas writes,
Dear Garlicboy,
I too used to pick my skin and hoard it. An alien blessing made me do it. After I removed the radio from my tooth I no longer felt the urge to hoard my skin. So I took the bags of dried skin that I had collected and fed some to my hamster, Algernon. Algernon couldn’t get enough. He absolutely loved it. So I started my own skin farm and a hamster food factory. Thanks to some alien blessing I am now a millionaire. I even have the alien tooth-radio on my office wall.
Thanks Garlicboy,
Theresa Barton
Theresa,
Its stories like yours that remind us of what it means to be an American. Keep that skin farm going and the dream alive. I'll be here writing as long as alien blessings are inspiring skin farmers to build hamster food factories. Bless you, Theresa. Bless you.
G.B.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Some Alien Blessing is on its Way to Skin Hoarder
UPDATE: The guy who picks at his arms and legs during class isn't just piling up his body flakes under his binder during class. Bryan reports that Skin Hoarder peeled some skin off of his arm today and ever-so-stealthily put it into his own soggy pocket. The Hoarder tries to be sly but Bryan notices it because sometimes The Hoarder borrows Bryan's pen and Bryan says that it makes him feel ill to let The Hoarder touch Bryan's stuff. Maybe Garlic Boy should say something to Skin Hoarder. "Psst! Pssst! Stop picking at yourself. You're making my friend sick to his stomach." Maybe we should befriend him. "Pssst! Skin picking dude! Yeah, you. If you want to come over tonight we're having chicken and turkey skin for dinner tonight. No meat, I promise." Maybe I should give Skin Hoarding Picker an empty chewing tobacco can so that he can save his skin for a little snack at the baseball game. "What are you chewing on?" "Skin."
Sick.
Sick.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
How Many Hit Points Do You Have Left?
Dang! Did you see Baylor destroy Michigan State's last night? I have to tell you, Garlic Boy used to hate women's basketball. In fact, I hated all women's sports. Last night I was converted. I didn't see one girl "pop" her jersey. There was no showboating, acting like a gangster, etc. Baylor won the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament. Beautiful.
There is a guy in my Business Organizations class who peels skin off of his legs and then hides the pickings in a little pile under his binder. What is that? Why is he saving it? During the entire class I'm thinking, "Give the leg picking a rest!" I have to admit I have some disgusting habits, for instance, I pick at my ears. I must have a fungus or something. However, I do not save little pieces of fungus under my binder. I wipe them off on my friend Bryan's bag while he is watching the leg picker.
By the way, I'm sitting with Bryan right now at school. He is telling me his plan to keep shaving his face in the normal fashion but to let the hair from his Adam's Apple to about an inch from his chin grow out long. So he wants what we are going to call a "neck beard." His neck beard is going to freak people out. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what you just heard was quite a tale. Indeed, that was what most people call a tall tale. That tale was almost as long as my own neck beard tail."
http://www.niftythreads.com/library/neckbeard.htm
So anyway, I'm supposed to be reading the Texas Business Corporation Act right now. Truth be told, I'd rather be eating my own neck beard. Forcing someone to read statutes is probably the slowest but surest way to destroy a person's spirit. Bryan is now saying this: "Reading statutes is like very, very, boring." I agree. It is so boring that I am not even going to do it. He is now sighing and hi-lighting something. Now he threw his pen down and is looking angrily at his statute book. Now he is looking out the window. Now he is getting mad and telling me to do my reading. Now he is staring outside again. That is how bad reading statutes is. A person like Bryan, who has been able to study one of the most boring things in the world (the law) for a year, still can't read more than 5 minutes of statutes without becoming suicidal.
There is a guy in my Business Organizations class who peels skin off of his legs and then hides the pickings in a little pile under his binder. What is that? Why is he saving it? During the entire class I'm thinking, "Give the leg picking a rest!" I have to admit I have some disgusting habits, for instance, I pick at my ears. I must have a fungus or something. However, I do not save little pieces of fungus under my binder. I wipe them off on my friend Bryan's bag while he is watching the leg picker.
By the way, I'm sitting with Bryan right now at school. He is telling me his plan to keep shaving his face in the normal fashion but to let the hair from his Adam's Apple to about an inch from his chin grow out long. So he wants what we are going to call a "neck beard." His neck beard is going to freak people out. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what you just heard was quite a tale. Indeed, that was what most people call a tall tale. That tale was almost as long as my own neck beard tail."
http://www.niftythreads.com/library/neckbeard.htm
So anyway, I'm supposed to be reading the Texas Business Corporation Act right now. Truth be told, I'd rather be eating my own neck beard. Forcing someone to read statutes is probably the slowest but surest way to destroy a person's spirit. Bryan is now saying this: "Reading statutes is like very, very, boring." I agree. It is so boring that I am not even going to do it. He is now sighing and hi-lighting something. Now he threw his pen down and is looking angrily at his statute book. Now he is looking out the window. Now he is getting mad and telling me to do my reading. Now he is staring outside again. That is how bad reading statutes is. A person like Bryan, who has been able to study one of the most boring things in the world (the law) for a year, still can't read more than 5 minutes of statutes without becoming suicidal.
Monday, April 04, 2005
The "Hello Okay Love Co."
I bet it's hard to name international companies because what might be a good name in Mexico could be a bad name somewhere else. The first Mexican company that comes to mind is "Bimbo." (As in, "Pan Bimbo," a brand of bakery products.) We all know what a bimbo is in the U.S. In Mexico, "Bimbo" is like "Wonder" or "Hostess."
If I had to name an international company, I'd use English words that everyone in the world knows because of the Beatles or some other rock group. I bet everyone knows what the words "hello," "love" and "okay" mean. My international company would be the "Hello Okay Love Co."
If I had to name an international company, I'd use English words that everyone in the world knows because of the Beatles or some other rock group. I bet everyone knows what the words "hello," "love" and "okay" mean. My international company would be the "Hello Okay Love Co."
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