First Day of Preschool

Actual E-mail

What’s up, Squints!

I noticed that your founding team “includes those from a background in Law Enforcement, including FBI, DEA, and forment police chiefs.” I don’t really know much about being a private investigator but does being a forment police chief make it harder for the truth to evade the surface? You know, because the surface really, really, really wants to catch the truth, but according to your website, the truth often evades the surface.

Anyway, just though I’d ask. Oh, and by the way, you also advertise that you “represent the best in undercover private investigators" who can perform:

Real Estate and Accounting Data Entry Bookkeeper Fraud
Insurance and Construction Fraud
Music & Video Piracy
Clerical and Office Inventory Embezzlements

Do you really have private investigators who will help people to embezzle inventory or who will perform fraud and piracy? Awesome! You must be really brave to advertise on the internet that your employees can perform fraud, piracy, and “embezzlements.” That sounds sneaky.

Forever yours,

G.B

We'll Investigate: After We Find our Glasses

I've been looking for jobs and I found this site. These guys will help you find the truth because the "truth often evades the surface." The truth is like a giant tuna fish who can't live out of the water. Even if the surface is really aggressive and tries to get below the truth, the truth will evade it and totally swim down lower. Tio Bruno has also pointed out that this company was founded by "forment police chiefs." They also advertise that their investigators "can perform: Music and Video Piracy and Real Estate and Accounting Data Entry Bookkeeper Fraud." This picture makes me feel violent. I want to punch both of these guys for squinting too much and for tricking me into looking at their lame webpage. I think we should all call and tell them how lame and squinty they are. If any of you actually call the number please say something mean and then comment here about what happened.

Jumping Contest

Garlic Girl took these pictures at the semi-annual Mayborn Museum Jumping Contest. Her lightning fast reflexes made her the best candidate to document the event.

Mikey was disqualified. Three bottles of pills containing artificial testosterone were found in his backpack. We call that cheating in Texas. This also explains his moustache. He is appealing the disqualification decision with the Mayborn Museum staff.


Mom pretended that she was playing the piano for inspiration. She also made us laugh really hard by clapping her hands above her head and shouting "grasshoppers unite!" before every jump.


Dad had the most photogenic jump. He may have won the distance contest but nobody checked because we were all so amazed at his in-air pose.



Amanda was also disqualified. She tried to bribe the judge with hugs and kisses. Shameless.



Clearly, this man is awesome. No museum can contain him.



I think Elden jumped the farthest. This is probably due to the fact that he is in love.

4,000 DIE IN ACCIDENT

What a tragedy.

Our Family Came to Visit

Tonkawa Falls in Crawford, TX

Janel and her mom near the Mayborn Museum on Baylor's Campus

Janel's parents, John and Ramona Starkweather, in Crawford, TX.

Mayborn Museum

The grandmas found a little pioneer girl at the museum. She sure was cute!
We made a race track for the boats. I want one of these at my house.
We had a jumping contest. Carrie has some serious biceps! Now I know why she always walks around bragging about being "ripped."


I like this picture because Elden's mug isn't visible. Also not visible: Elden is 27 feet up in a tree with my daughter.


Awww. Hailey loves her uncle.



Here is Carrie sending out a signal to all the Indian boys in the museum. "I'm single and hot to trot!"




Why is Amanda so scared of bubbles? Oh yeah, we used to use acid bubbles to get her to go to bed.

Law School Graduation