Dang! Did you see Baylor destroy Michigan State's last night? I have to tell you, Garlic Boy used to hate women's basketball. In fact, I hated all women's sports. Last night I was converted. I didn't see one girl "pop" her jersey. There was no showboating, acting like a gangster, etc. Baylor won the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament. Beautiful.
There is a guy in my Business Organizations class who peels skin off of his legs and then hides the pickings in a little pile under his binder. What is that? Why is he saving it? During the entire class I'm thinking, "Give the leg picking a rest!" I have to admit I have some disgusting habits, for instance, I pick at my ears. I must have a fungus or something. However, I do not save little pieces of fungus under my binder. I wipe them off on my friend Bryan's bag while he is watching the leg picker.
By the way, I'm sitting with Bryan right now at school. He is telling me his plan to keep shaving his face in the normal fashion but to let the hair from his Adam's Apple to about an inch from his chin grow out long. So he wants what we are going to call a "neck beard." His neck beard is going to freak people out. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what you just heard was quite a tale. Indeed, that was what most people call a tall tale. That tale was almost as long as my own neck beard tail."
http://www.niftythreads.com/library/neckbeard.htm
So anyway, I'm supposed to be reading the Texas Business Corporation Act right now. Truth be told, I'd rather be eating my own neck beard. Forcing someone to read statutes is probably the slowest but surest way to destroy a person's spirit. Bryan is now saying this: "Reading statutes is like very, very, boring." I agree. It is so boring that I am not even going to do it. He is now sighing and hi-lighting something. Now he threw his pen down and is looking angrily at his statute book. Now he is looking out the window. Now he is getting mad and telling me to do my reading. Now he is staring outside again. That is how bad reading statutes is. A person like Bryan, who has been able to study one of the most boring things in the world (the law) for a year, still can't read more than 5 minutes of statutes without becoming suicidal.
5 comments:
I went to the neck beard website. That guy is cool. If it weren't for the picture I would have accused Garlicboy or Toast Addict of having written it. It's that good. Garlicboy, tell Bryan I think he would look good with a neck beard.
I forgot to sign that last comment.
I am glad to see the neck beard is back in style. I think the neck beard was first big in the time of (and made popular by) Brigham Young and John Taylor. Taylor rhymes with Baylor, which makes a lot of sense if you think about it. Power to you Bryan. Skin boy, there are help groups for people like you.
I could never write something that funny. Bryan and I were just sitting around talking about neck-beards when he googled "neck beard" and that was the first thing we saw. I laughed so hard that I cried. I love when he says, "Have you ever not shown up to work and been fired, just for having a neck beard?" Maybe Mr. T will have one when he is born. I hope he likes to read statutes. Maybe he can read mine for me. Thanks Mr. T. You're the best. Toast Habit...what John Taylor had was more of a chinny-chin-chin beard. A neck beard does not grow from the chin, it grows from above the shirt-line and below the chin. It looks ridiculous, not old fashioned or pioneerish like B.Y. and J.T. I'm thinking of going extreme and shaving my entire body except for the hair on my neck. (Front and back.) It would sort of be a lion type look except way dumber. Toast Habit I share your disgust for the Skin Hoarder and find Julia's lack of revulsion disgusting.
Come on, haven't you ever peeled off your skin in public?
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