By guest blogger James Shepley from Garlic Boy's Webelos Den
Although many people think that dragons are cool they are not. This is a proven scientific theory. If dragons were actually awesome they would not be extinct.
I wish dragons had never existed because I hate anything that has to do with dragons. My friend Ronald says that dragons are very agile and can burn stuff while they are flying. (Well Ronald congratulations you have just proved that you are an idiot dragon-lover.) If a dragon ever tried to shoot fire from its mouth while it was flying the fire would fly back into the dragons face and burn his eyes. Just like the time you spit out of my mom's car on the freeway Ronald.
Ronald also thinks that dragons' scales are like the armor plating on a tank. Think again Ronald! They would be too heavy and dragons wouldn't be able to fly. I think that the greatest mythical beast is the Karkadann. Who cares if it went blind after killing an elephant?! Anyone who has had lots of melted elephant fat flow into his eyes will understand that predicament.
So many people are in love with dragons. They obviously haven't ever watched Mulan. If that movie doesn't make you hate dragons then you are an Oprah lover too. My other friend, Damian, draws dragons in his spare time. That is why he is flunking math.
Dragons are weak because they love gold and trinkets. Lame. I only know of one other person who loves trinkets as much as dragons and that is Damian. Damian has a lot of dragon stuff and dolls too. You can take Damian's dragon quiz here.
In conclusion I would like to say that if you love dragons you should have to fight the Karkadann.
7 comments:
Was this an actual conversation you had with James Shepley?
I laughed out loud as I read this. I think you should post at least once a week (Dave or Janel- but since Janel had to sleep for 3 I think Dave's would be a little more exciting).
This was probably the most educational post of my life. I have a persian Brother-in-law, and he never told me about the Karkadann. Also, I never knew that Oprah was Satan's #1 bff.
And, Ronald does sound kind of like an idiot.
I am unfriendly and selfish. I am estremely hard to deal with because of my erratic behavior. I neither seek company nor welcome it.
Dave, you need to call me.
Flunking math...oh, man, my belly hurts from laughing so hard.
Damian must be some kind of sick-o to create such a work of "art". Gross.
But,
THEY... BREATH... FIRE!!!!
And, they fly. I mean, come on...
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