Revenge of the Twilighted Husbands

After months of hearing about how sexy, noble, and chivalrous the vampire Edward is, husbands can rejoice now that the film version of the best-selling novel Twilight is really stinking up the theaters. Scott and I hung out at my place while our wives, in separate entourages, made their pilgrimage to the cineplex to watch Twilight on Friday night.

Before she went, I warned Janel that many of the movie reviews for Twilight contained words and phrases such as toothless, Asperger's syndrome, ridiculous, hackneyed, sucked the life out of me, silly, and melodramatic to name a few. I told her this in an attempt to lower her expectations, hoping that she would return after enjoying the movie to ask me to nibble on her neck a la Edward in the book. Unfortunately, she and Dana walked in the door and immediate exclaimed, "That movie was HORRIBLE."

Scott and I were slightly pleased to think that the movie version of Edward had not succeeded in further lowering our wives' opinions regarding our own physiques, canine teeth, and ability to detect hot chicks with our sense of smell. Needless to say, no nibbling occured, Janel just complained about the movie until we both fell asleep. And yes, I snuck out of the bed in the middle of the night to replace the soil around the pine tree that I had planned on pulling out with my bare hands to impress Janel with my vampire-like strength.