Bad Dad Tip of the Day

The first time one of your kids receives a gift card to Target or Cold Stone Creamery as a birthday gift the poor child will not understand what it is. In order to steal the card from them in broad daylight you must follow my instructions with precision.

After the little angel opens the card, they will hold the gift card up and look confused. Before anyone can explain you must deftly perform what is basically one move with three parts, so pay attention. Sternly, and if necessary, angrily tell your child to say thank you while simultaneously ripping the card out of their darling little hands and handing them another gift to open. The exchange must be simultaneous so as to avert the child's attention to the new gift which presumably contains something better than a piece of plastic with a picture of ice cream on it. You must appear to be angry so that other parents will forget about the card and realize that you are a big jerk. Acting as if you were angry will also cause your child to ignore you. The other parents at the party will look down at the floor or pretend to be busy doing something else because they are ashamed and embarrassed for you. Calmly place the gift card into your pocket while no one is watching. The gift card is now yours. Look around the room at the other parents with a smug look cause you just schooled them and because you are one bad dad. Can I hear you say "FREE DATE NIGHT"?!