WARNING: This post rated PG-13

Before you read any more, check this out first: http://toasthabit.blogspot.com/2005/10/fourth-type-of-beauty.html

My brother-in-law Jacob, who happens to be the biggest fan of Whitesnake in the entire universe, calls his favorite musical genre "butt-rock" not "glam-rock." You may be asking, "What makes him an expert?" First of all, he has an electric guitar and a giant amp in his bedroom. Second of all, he actually likes Poison, Def Leopard, and Tesla. Third of all, he played our national anthem on a red electric guitar at his high school graduation.

If your still not convinced that it's "butt-rocker" not "glam-rocker," just imagine yourself walking down the street when out of nowhere you see a dude in camoflauge spandex and red suspenders wailing on his guitar. Most people imagine a little spin move right here. Now, honestly, what were you thinking at the very moment he did his little spin move in your mind? I already know the answer: "That dude is a total butt-rocker." End of debate.

I've been thinking a lot about The Toastinator and his spandex a lot lately. So much in fact that I built a stone monument to the idea in my front yard. A tribute to "hair bands" everywhere. I had one of Jacob's butt-rocking bandmates stand on it. I call it "Butt Rock." By the way, that's a dude.