Super American Patriot: The Novel

Chapter 13

Lee King

"Who's there?" Uncle Larry croaked. No one answered. Uncle Larry was still in shock from the blast. He sat in disbelief in a small ditch facing away from the highway. He glanced over his shoulder to where his rig should have been but saw only a smoldering crater. "How did I survive?" he wondered silently to himself. He felt movement in the breast pocket of his western-cut sleeveless vest.

"Chappy?" His pet squirrel looked none the worse for wear. "It's amazing you survived, little guy."

Chappy just licked his paws and blinked three times.

Uncle Larry heard some rustling behind him on the road. It was a dark night but he could see the silhouettes of three figures; one had a cowboy hat on. The other two were following the one in the hat. Uncle Larry could hear their conversation from where he was sitting.

The one in the hat spoke first. "He thought he was so tough. Just because he killed of all of the terrorists, he thought he could take on the drug cartels of the south! Well that will teach Uncle Larry to mess with Lee King!"

So that was it. Larry couldn't believe it. This was the second time he'd lost his livelihood to criminals with high explosives. The first time it was terrorists who blew up his truck. Now it was the drug lords that wanted him out of the way. Being Chuck Norris' twin brother and the President's uncle sure had its drawbacks. He was in a constant battle against evil. Just when it seemed he had finally won, more evil came knocking at his door or forgot to knock and just blew stuff up. Mostly evil just blew his stuff up without knocking. This time, there had been no knock.

Larry knew what he had to do next. He stood up slowly. One of the men spoke. "Boss, what is that?" Then Uncle Larry attacked. Before they knew what was happening Larry had flung the squirrel right onto the neck of the nearest drug smuggler. Chappy knew what he had to. He went right for the jugular. "One down, two to go" thought Chappy as the warm blood of the first drug smuggler ran down his chin. Then Chappy blinked 4 times while he cleaned his paws.

Lee King felt a familiar sensation as his incontinence pad "fulfilled its duty." Or maybe it "was filled with doody?" Who knows. All he knew was that he was about to die. He wished he were wearing some clean underwear.

Larry punched Lee King's second henchman in the face. The smuggler's head exploded with a loud pop.

Buy my book to see what happens to Lee King!